Saturday, August 22, 2015

The "Story"

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There is something strange that happens when people find out about you suffer from infertility.  They always seem to "know" someone or heard of someone whom had problems conceiving but then magically they got pregnant naturally.  Usually this is after they have already adopted or used a surrogate or had given up on the idea of ever having kids.  

This story my friends is a load of crap.  Sorry for the harsh crash back to reality.  The one in a million or whatever unlikely statistic of people this actually happens to is small.  This is an abnormality.  Not something one can hang their hope on.  Not something I find very comforting.  Yet anyone struggling with infertility hears this story over and over again.  From everyone to a family member to a random stranger that overhears your phone conversation (true story).  This "story" is often told by people who want to comfort you.  Make you feel better about your situation.  Give you a sliver a hope.

It's sweet but I'm sorry, I'm not buying it.  I'll be polite.  I'll nod and smile.  Sometimes I'll even throw in a "yeah I know someone that happened too," just to make them feel better about it all but I won't believe a word coming out of your mouth.  It the thought behind it, that I appreciate.  The fact that someone felt the need to try to ease my mind about it all.  That I can get. 

 The "story" is just that.  A sweet, yet misguided story.  By the time you hit the point of seeing a specialist, getting tested for everything under the sun, injecting yourself with medicine and being heavily monitored just to conceive makes the notion that it can happen naturally extremely far fetched.  Comical even. 

However, please for the love of all that is holy, unless you yourself have defied the odds don't share this story especially if you are unaware of their own personal struggle.  If someone in your life is struggling with infertility.  Just listen.  We know you want to say something to us and that "story" often ends up being what comes blurting out, but an "I'll be praying for you" or any version of that is more than enough.  It will convey the same sentiment without the possibility of bothering the recipient. 

Just some food for thought.

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