Thursday, March 14, 2013

The "D" Word

Yup the Deployment word has been dropped and hubby will be gone sooner than we anticipated.  Sooner as in he won't get to meet his child until after the baby is several months old.  You can see where some of my anxiety is coming from.

I am stuck in a state I want nothing more to get out of, expecting our first child, and will be delivering the baby here most likely alone.  Yup as of right now we are unsure of who exactly, if anyone, will be coming down to help me out for the birth.

In reality, the help that is needed doesn't so much have to do with me but with these two lugs.

I need someone to take care of my puppies while I am in the hospital.  As of right now, if no one comes down, the game plan is to drop them off at one of two kennels when the doctor tells me that "the baby could come any day now."  Yeah that could get expensive quickly.  Hubby isn't so keen on this idea because he has friends in the area who could help me out.  Yeah friends I have only met a handful of times and frankly don't feel comfortable calling them.  That is unless there is an emergency and I have no other choice but to that.

Now don't get me wrong I have had offers for people to come help me out.  Honestly none of them seem truly like they will work.  I can't and don't expect someone to put their life on hold and jump on a plane at a moments notice.  They give you a month window in which the baby can come so it's not like I am getting an induction where I will know the exact date.  Totally not realistic.  People have children of their own and jobs that take priority over me.  Like they should.

Due to the fact that my mother is no longer apart of my life by choice she will not be coming down.  Nor will my dad, brother or sister in law (my brothers wife).  All of them would just make my life far too complicated which will not be good for anyone.

My mother in law (MIL) has offered to come down.  I am not so sure how I feel about this.  On one hand she doesn't have any children at home and I am sure she would be down here in a second if we asked.  She also only teaches from home which I don't think she will have any issues with rescheduling.  On the other hand there are certain things that could very much so more than ruffle my feathers.

For starters the women loves taking pictures.  The only problem is anything of me is ALWAYS the absolute worst pic in the world and that will be the one to make onto the family Christmas card.  Trust me it's happened many times.  And I am just not saying that.  She has very little boundaries when it comes to that. I has second degree sunburn on both shoulder and she insisted on taking a pic.  Guess which one made it up onto the fridge. Sure I can lay ground rules (Which believe me I will) like only pics of the baby.  Which I could care less how many she takes of the baby but I would like to try to pull myself together and relax for a bit before someone shoves an unwanted camera in my face.

Then there is my concerns with breast feeding.  I am very nervous about this and my MIL is super crazy into it.  Verbal advice from her is just fine.  I however don't need my MIL man handling my boob while attempting to breastfed for the first few times.  I would like this to be a private thing first off as I am extremely modest.  No one but a nurse or doctor will be in the room when I am feeding the baby.  Secondly, I don't want to feel like I can't ask for help if I need it from one of the nurse because of fear of offending her.

There is also something that Hunter threw out there that I am a bit uncomfortable about but haven't said anything about yet.  I asked what I could expect if my MIL / In-Laws came down after the birth.  He flat out said that the only time I will likely be doing anything for the baby would obviously be for feedings.  Um.... while I know she would like to love on her grandchild seeing as she won't get to see Mudbug much as they live states away, I would like time to bond with my child.  Especially in the first couple of weeks.  Call me selfish all you want but unless it was Hunter I am not really ok with that.  This is a far cry from what I thought would happen.  I foolishly assumed that she would come down and help me out with housework and cooking, that sort of thing.  You know what people really need help with right after having a baby.    Now if she was to come down say a month or so after the baby is born then it's all welcome.  I need to establish my routine before I feel like entertaining company.

I know it sounds like I am knocking her and in part I guess I am.  She is a kind sweet women who does not intend to be or do some of the things she does.  These are just things that personally rub me the wrong way.  Not everyone gets along 100% of the time.

Now my Sister in Law (Hunter's Brother's Wife)  Offered to come down as well.  This is a bit of a better option but not great.  She is very much like my MIL but is far more relaxed about everything.  She will follow any rules that lay down without question.  I will also not feel like I have to entertain her while she is here.  Point her in the direction of a few homemade freezer meals and she will be good to go.

On the downside she has two kids.  One will have to join her as she is still exclusively breastfeeding.  He is a doll to have around and by far the easiest going baby I have ever been around ever.  Her other son will likely stay with my In-Laws.  Not really a big issue to me at all seeing as I don't want anyone other than Hunter in the delivery room with me.  During labor sure but not delivery.  Then there is also the logistics of it all which brings us right back to square one.  It's the same problem we have with anyone coming down.

I even looked into midwives and doulas.  Honestly I am not too keen on the idea at all.  They are expensive and frankly for me I don't think they are worth the money.

As of right now I think our best solution is to face this on my own.  Throw the dogs in a kennel and hope for the best.  Prayer would be greatly appreciated.


  1. My offer still stands. I don't know how I'd work it out, but I WILL WORK IT OUT if you need me. I'd love to help you out in any way I can. This baby is so special to us and y'all are, too. Just let me know if you need me. You are so strong, girl. I can't imagine trying to organize all this without the help of J. I was going to tell you...Jen is very into natural birthing (but she would never push you in that direction) and is studying to be a doula. She would probably jump at the chance to get some experience and likely wouldn't charge a thing. She's also a pretty good cook, too! Let me know if you want me to hook you two up. Are you friends on facebook?

    1. Thank you so much for your offer. I am still trying to figure out what will work best for me. I will take it into serious consideration though. Jen as in makes her own cloth diapers Jen? If so I am friends with here on FB and that could be something to explore and discuss with here about. She is local so that would make it a bit easier. hmmm... if i am right about the person then I may need to email her.

  2. You are so strong and you can get through this. Hugs!

    1. Thank you! I can handle the baby thing, its the birth (and breastfeeding) that intimidates me a bit.


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