Today I got a letter in the mail notifying me that my teaching certification in New York extension is almost up. In addition a letter I received a week ago stated that if I don't complete my Masters Degree by the end of 2013 I will have to take a whole new set of certification tests that will soon be required to complete both my degree and certification. None of which I plan to do at the moment.
The big problem is that I have not worked in a classroom since 2010. I also haven't finished my Master's degree which is half complete. You see, I left my job and Grad School behind to go live with my fiance in Alabama. I packed up my life in New York and didn't look back. I don't regret it for a minute. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into when I made the decisions I did.
I however can not help but miss working. Miss feeling like the old me. The one who had more on my plate then I knew what to do with. Call me crazy but I like being super busy. Before I left I was working full time at a school, going to Grad School at night, babysitting to make extra money when I could, working out in my spare time and traveling to see my Husband (then boyfriend) whenever I could. I was productive. Far more than I feel like I am now. Sure my house is clean, my husband is happy, the tiny human I am incubating is growing as expected and the dogs are well taken care of but I'm sorry that does not feel like enough for me.
Maybe once the baby gets here things will be different. I will have a focus. I will be busy again. The feeling that I have done something more than the bare minimum. Finally I can use some aspect of that expensive college degree I earned. Even if it is only with my child.